|Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine|
It's funny how you sometimes hear the voice of another through the cards. I felt like today I had my hand slapped from my mother when I did my daily draw.
I took the weekend for some quiet time (and by quiet time I mean a Netflix binge), I even had it marked in my planner that this was my intention.
Clearly marked for today though was my plan of action for making a start on transforming my daughter's now unused bedroom into a calm and soothing meditation and yoga room. I picture it in my head, all warm neutrals with accents of soothing colour. A dark walnut unit dressed with some carefully chosen items and plants, a light crisp voile window covering to filter the sunlight and ambient lighting for the evening.
It's so real I can feel it's peaceful atmosphere soothing me already.
Then comes The Empress and 10 of Winter. I ponder it for a few minutes but decide if I just get on with my day it would become clear. I just didn't realise how clear it would be.
Full of my vision and fired up to make this real, I set off with gusto, excited at the idea of making this special place where I can close off from the noise and activity of the outside world. Envisioning the end result, like a protective cocoon, where I can retreat to the unconditional love of the cosmos.
BLAM!!!!! Reality check time.
Those 2 cards were telling me quite clearly, yes it's time to start to develop this plan, now that I have exactly what is needed it's time to build it, to grow it and make this haven, but maybe finishing the half started jobs would make the going so much easier in the long run. As that delightful little fairy looks up at the sun, focusing on its beauty, she's not considering the steep mountainside and the forest of trees she needs to manoeuvre through. She's only seeing the sun.
Yep, that moment of realising that this longed for space was only ever half cleared out, my daughter only taking what she had room for and leaving things behind. My bad, I admit, I couldn't bring myself to empty the room completely, as if doing so would eliminate part of the past. It's a silly notion but I think every parent feels a touch redundant when a child moves out, especially the youngest, the 'baby' of the family.
I can see now though, that an empty bedroom makes me no less her mum, having more physical distance between us is actually a very bonding experience as we treasure the time we do spend together.
So those cards today seemed to have my mother's voice as they told me, just as she would, 'you want this space? you're willing to put the effort in? Well finish what you originally started before you go any further young lady! Get this sorted out before you take one more step'.
It's great to see the bigger picture, to be able to visualise the end result, but if we aren't dealing with the loose ends that need sorting then we may as well quit before we start.
As with everything in life, to get something, you have to be prepared to let go of something. So I am armed with boxes and rubbish bags, a 'keep' pile and a 'charity store' pile because a room for tranquility really can't be that when I'm stepping over books, Playstation games and CDs from 1998 that no self respecting 22 year old would admit to ever owning.