|Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh.|
Having sat working through my Rituals for Living planner, I've amended my goals to a more realistic level. One of my main challenge areas has been finances and its time to get a grip.
Like the majority of people worldwide, money gets tighter every month, as the financial institutions that run our planet tighten their choke hold on its ordinary citizens. And as I look at where my money goes (or went in 2015) I notice that so much went where I thought I wanted it to go, instead of where it probably should have gone.
A tasty cappuccino at Costa (sorry Starbucks but until you pay your share of corporate taxes I ain't buying), a pre-packaged sandwich there and it starts to mount up. Really mount up. Add into that, the books, the card decks and the other pretty shiny 'needful' things that find their way into my shopping basket, I realised that bemoaning the fact I am always broke is quite ironic. Worrying about rent, fuel bills, petrol and the other necessities seems quite hypocritical, especially in a world where to a lot of people, a safe roof over their heads is just a dream.
So taking note of my cards today, Ego (The Devil) and 2 of Winter, I realise that I participate too readily in 'work, buy, consume, die' vortex. My justification is that I work, so why shouldn't I reward myself? But who am I really rewarding, because by the middle of the month I am scraping pennies together to survive, having convinced myself I'll budget better the following month. Not facing the harsh truth that I am in a self made trap.
I don't need these things, I just want them, convinced by the devil on my shoulder that I deserve them, I'm allowed a treat, and it'll make me feel goooooood, it'll distract me from the real issues.
So my planner is now set up to make me accountable for unnecessary spending. I have notes in my purse that ask me 'do I want or do I need?' My bank card has a note wrapped around it telling me to pause, breathe and decide, is this emotional spending or survival spending?
We all deserve a treat, but a treat is something that is occasional, mine were habits, bad ones that promised me I'd feel good/better/happier.
In reality I felt no such thing, I felt disappointed at my lack of self restraint, unhappy that my bank balance looked so bleak and stressed that I'd be living on beans on toast for days on end.
It's going to be tough, but in the grand scheme of things, I have coffee in the house, I can make a sandwich to pop in my bag to take with me to work. It'll be even tougher not looking at deck reviews, and listening to the hype on the next must have deck, only reading books I have in my collection and not succumbing to new releases.
It's time to be brutal and look at my culpability in my lack of finances and learn to ignore the devil on my shoulder, encouraging myself to buy, buy, buy, whispering to me that I'm worth it. Maybe I should call it L'Oreal,