Monday, 2 February 2015

You Have a Name, Not A Label

Psychic Tarot for the Heart by John Holland

Within all of our relationships with the people in our lives, there tends to be one that we get lost in.  This isn't helped by the opinions from others who tell us. 'your romantic relationships should come first, your children should come first, we need to have a large circle of trusted friends, we need to do large family gatherings regularly.  
I'm not advocating neglecting any of these relationships, but just which relationship should be your priority?

I believe it is the relationship we have with ourselves.  I am leaving babies and very young children out of this equation as they obviously need our constant nurturing and attention, however even a new mum needs time to have a soak in the bath (alone) after a full day of nappies, bottles, sick and snot. 

If we give ourselves over to our relationships we become lost in who we really are.  We are too busy anticipating and delivering the needs of the other person, that recognising our own needs gets neglected. 

I am no control freak, yet my kids, when younger, had a strong routine, a regular bed time and a quiet time at some point through the day.  This was a way for me to touch base with myself, to nurture me.  

Romantic relationships were quite tricky, I am fiercely independent and like to be in charge of my life, so boundaries were set and often broken (I seemed to attract needy, insecure men) and this is where my love life fell down.

I am often shocked when I hear or see women who have become someone's mummy or partner.  We all have an individual identity and yet so many people are happy to lose that identity.  Sometimes it may be that who we really are does not seem significant, yet we are all here for a purpose, and that purpose is to learn about ourselves.  

So if you are feeling like you are an extension of someone else, take some time to look at what you would truly like to do-just you, what dreams do you have, what sparks your imagination?

Seek some clarity within you, find out who you are, what makes you tick.

Think of the relationships that hold you back from doing that and ask why?  Who is holding you back?  You will be surprised at the answer. 

Make your needs and wants heard.  Set your boundaries firmly in place and do something for you.  You might be surprised at the positive change in your relationships that it brings. 

1 comment:

  1. "lost in who we really are" that sounds familiar Sometimes the demands of family can be so draining there is not much time and space left for self car. I am glad I've discovered how important this so my butterfly can be free