A Prison of Our Own Making

8 of Swords, Rider Waite Smith.

Blindfolded, hands bound and surrounded by steely blades.

What is the situation that has this lady scared and unable or unwilling to move?  Is it a situation she has put herself in?  Has something else put her there?

Could it be she's a victim of bullying or verbal abuse?  Worn down by the constant cruel words, that she comes to believe they hold truth.  Trapped in a way of thinking that she no longer is able to see or function with true clarity.  What other people think and say to us has a massive impact on our psyche.  Tell a child of 4 or 5 years old that they are ugly often enough and that child grows into an adult with serious issues around their physical appearance.  Tell a person frequently that they are useless and they give up trying to reach for their dreams.  Words cause wounds, I dislike that adage I was taught when I was young, that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  Sticks and stones cause bruising, possibly even a fracture, it is a visible wound, it heals.  Words cut to the core, the wounds are invisible but the scars are big.  Victims of abuse and bullying are not allowed to think there is a safe haven for them if they ever work their way out of the situation.  So there she stands back turned and eyes blinded to the security of the castle at the top of the cliff. 

Is she the same victim but is trying to analyse the situation and feels the need to close herself off to the emotions it evokes and stopping herself doing anything impulsive or making any rash moves?  I think we all try to rationalise our  less pleasant situations.  We try to work out if there is any logic in them.  We try and work a way out but first we need to stop and think clearly without external interference or allowing our emotions choose our next move.  This lady could follow the small flow of water at her feet to find a safe exit, but would that mean she is being guided by emotion and not logic?

Could this lady be someone with an eating disorder?  Punishing herself with her own harsh thoughts?  An inability to see the truth of her situation?  Eyes blindfolded by the illness, she does not see things as they truly are, her skewed thinking is caging her in, making her a prisoner of this cruel condition's poisonous thoughts?

The castle up on the cliff is the 'goal'.  If I can lose 1 pound today/ 8 pounds this week, then  I will be happier/ perfect/ prettier/more clever/popular and I can live happily ever after.  However those swords are pretty well placed and bloody sharp.  It then becomes easier to stay put, not able to see which to turn to reach your castle.

Is she an alcoholic/drug addict even some one in the darkest stages of depression?

When I see the figure 8, I see it as the lemniscate the infinity symbol, and as the lemniscate it depicts a cycle, the ebb and flow.  Whatever this lady's situation, it is a vicious cycle, there appears no way out, and she remains there,  seemingly quite unconcerned.  It may be more comfortable to stay put and not move away for fear of making the wrong move.  In the words of Albus Dumbledore, 'to choose what is right, or to choose what is easy'.

At the crux of the card is the uncomfortable feeling it gives the onlooker. You feel like shouting instructions to the lady guiding her by telling which way to turn to move safely out of her predicament.  But this is not what is needed.  The woman needs to do this on her own.  She will not find the solution from someone else's intervention, as hard and as uncomfortable that may make us feel.  Like I said before this is a cycle, it continues on and on until the lady herself (the central issue) works out for herself whether to shake her hands from their bindings, uncovers her eyes and finds her safe path up to the safety of the castle. 

She does not need 'rescuing'.  She needs to rescue herself.

Wicked Wishes and the 9 of Cups Rx

'Cause getting your dreams

It's strange, but it seems

A little - well - complicated

There's a kind of a sort of, cost

There's a couple of things get, lost

There are bridges you cross

You didn't know you crossed

Until you've crossed

(Lyrics from Thank Goodness, from the musical Wicked)

As the wish card in tarot, the 9 of Cups seems like it can do no wrong.  Reversed though, well lets look at how I see it.

I always try to relate my understanding of a card with an experience from my life, that way it makes it easier to understand. The above song lyrics tend to resonate so well with how I see the 9 of Cups reversed.

Using the RWS card, the man in the card seems to be sitting, claiming his space, arms crossed and a hint of a smug look on his face.  This is someone who seems to be in a stance of arrogance, closed off and with little regard for anyone else's feelings or opinions  No matter what is happening he is going to put himself at the forefront of any situation.  His own inflated self importance is almost sickening.  

Behind him are 9 cups, upside down, I think we all know that an upside down cup is an empty cup.so what exactly is this telling us?

The man is too arrogant to realise the cups are even there, is this someone's emotions being drained?  is it their dreams being tipped away? and still the man sits there, smug and full of his own ego.  

How did this card go from being the 'wish card' to a card of shattered dreams.

Maybe this man is so wrapped up in how everything affects him and his world, that he ignores the emotional upset he is causing. 

He has no interest in seeing what is happening behind him, he is the centre of his world and his dramas.  

At some point this man was the epitome of contentment, he was the fruition of our deepest desires, hopes becoming real, and dreams manifesting.

Somewhere along the way this changed and this wonderful feeling of a dream come true, of emotional fulfillment has become a feeling of complete emptiness, of emotions spilled or simply drained.  And yet there he sits pompous, self righteous and full of denial that he has caused this.  His back turned, determined not to look at the devastation and loss behind him.  Determined not to accept responsibility for his part in any of it.

Its a time to go back to the 8 of Cups and learn the lesson of walking away, leaving the emotional ties behind.  If the advice from the 8 of Cups had been followed in the first place then maybe the 9 of Cups reversed wouldn't have happened.

However it did and only then did I realise that 'getting your dreams, it's strange but it seems a little, well complicated'.  

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