Holding Destiny in My Hands.

Chronicles of Destiny Fortune Cards, Schiffer Publishing.

I suspect everyone is like me when they get a new card deck, impatient to start using it, and also a little bit concerned that they may not bond with it as easily as other decks in their collection.

When I heard about Chronicles of Destiny I anticipated it's release.  Not because I was so eager to get my hands on it, however, I found them intriguing.  Nevertheless I wanted to see some reviews and get others opinions about it before taking the financial gamble.

I am not a predictive reader, so, the 'Fortune Cards' subtitle put me off them a bit.  I prefer to use my cards for self discovery, guidance and advice.  Prediction is not my 'thing'.  I can work on probabilities but never straight forward predictions (and don't get me started on 'how does he/she feel about me'. Grrrrrrrrr! )

There was also the point that these cards don't read like your usual oracle decks.  There is a specific method in reading them, and like Lenormand, certain cards hold a specific meaning.  That detail, in itself, intrigued me as I'm not a Lenormand girl, but the concept captured my attention.

So after watching reveals, reading reviews and following threads over on Aeclectic Tarot I decided that I had to have them.  Justifying my decision by telling myself that artwork alone is stunning.

However this is a deck that until you have it in your hands, you cannot understand how special it feels.  The cards are, as I said, beautiful, the guidebook is a gem and the box is rather luxurious too, but it's the content and accuracy of the readings that make this deck so amazing.

Once I had received my deck, I started by doing the basic 2 card daily draw.  The accuracy from these readings was astonishing.  Whether I used them in the morning or late evening, each reading rang true.

Feeling a bit in awe, I decided to offer some free readings purely for feedback. Worried, if I would mess up and dubious about any predictive messages, I read for 10 sitters.  I surprised myself, 9 of the sitters told me the reading was acurate, detailed and insightful.  The other one person may have to wait and see how their situation pans out.  I was able to perform the readings in my usual style, with advice and guidance and leaving the sitter with choices to consider.

I am so enthralled with this deck, I can't seem to pull myself away from it.  From daily draws right down to in-depth readings, each turns up so much information. Every card has so much to offer, and each time I see something different in each one.

It's definitely a deck that I'll keep close to hand

Embracing the Darkness

Back, L - R Chronicles of Destiny Fortune Cards by Josephine and Emily Ellershaw, Oracle of Visions by Ciro Marchetti

Fey Tarot by Mara Agham and  Ricardo Minetti, front center Holistic Tarot by Benebell Wen

Recently I've noticed the days here are starting to get considerably shorter, as summer starts to loosen it's hold  Just weeks ago it was possible to enjoy sitting out in the garden until almost bed time.  Now it has turned cooler and my nights need a focus.

I've taken the opportunity to prepare in advance for how I shall invest my time and gave into the urge to splurge.  

Three of the four items I bought had been sitting on my wishlist since their respective release dates.  Chronicles of Destiny Fortune Cards (Shiffer Publishing) sparked my interest due to its unique reading method.  So far I've used it only for a couple of daily draws.  To say it has been spookily accurate is an understatement.  Although it may be a while before I take them 'out to play', as I'm a little bit besotted with them and don't want to share.  (Imagine a woman in her late forties, clutching the box and throwing a tantrum while shouting 'but they're mine, waaaaaah!!!!'  Embarrassing, I know) 

The next item that mysteriously ended up tumbling off my wish list and into my eager little hands was Oracle of Visions (US Games Systems).  I am a huge fan of Ciro's Legacy of the Divine Tarot deck.  This deck and I go back a few years, and I understand some people don't like digitally designed deck's (some are truly awful), but this deck really speaks to me, it's vibrant and chatty and having been in its bag for a few months, it likes to have a catch up.  It never disappoints.  This spurred me to get Oracle of Visions, having seen the images online I knew I had to have it.  Heck! I even started my journal on it before I even had the deck.  The artwork doesn't just speak to me, it sings, like John Owen Jones. It hits the emotions, triggers the intuition and just sends me off into a rather surreal land in my head. But it makes sense to me,  even without 'definitions' (which I actually prefer).

The final 'oops how did that get in my basket' purchase was, of course Benebell Wen's Holistic Tarot.  After all the amazing reviews and write ups I knew I had to have it.  I love Benebell's blog and the tone of the book is similar. It's easy to read and understand.  The chapters are not heavily laden with jargon.  I'm loving what I have read so far (and given the size of the book, percentage wise it's not much).

My final purchase was only by coincidence.  I've liked the look of Fey Tarot (Lo Scarabeo) for a long time, but always prioritised other decks on my wish list. As much as I like a lot of Lo Scarabeo deck's, the accompanying LWB leaves much to be desired
For 5 days running, this deck kept popping up, on blogs, in exchange readings,on the temptation feed Amazon put on your personal page, you know the one.........other things we think you may like.  Never ever be tempted to look, it's a trap!!!!!  So I decided, there must be a reason this deck is haunting my every online moment.  There it was an 'as new' copy for not a lot of money, so I guessed why not.  I got a good bargain, but imagine my utter joy to find the full companion book for sale too, for less than £2.  (Ironically this was delivered 3 days before the cards arrived).  The book has delightful preliminary sketches of card details as done by Mara Agham, and goes into detail of how she expanded or even changed her original artwork to capture, what is a lovely, readable deck. 

So now that the nights are drawing in, and the neighbours retreat behind their front doors earlier than of late, I'm content to retreat too.  I have new worlds to visit, new lands to explore, oh, and a Christmas list to compile. I'll be heading over to Amazon then to re-categorise my wish list, (just a subtle hint to my family, if you're reading this)

Ker-Ching and I Ching

Tao Oracle by Ma Deva Padma

I took a mini road trip today, along with my daughter, grandson and puppy (both make up the Toddler Squad) to visit my youngest daughter at her new home since she re-located to another part of the country.  I had been wanting to go and visit her but my finances were tied up elsewhere and it just wasn't possible. 

You see, we like to make a proper day of it, eating out, coffees at nice cafés and with having a toddler in tow, there is always something to buy to appease his need for everything he sees.

The weather was beautiful and made a very long drive through the English countryside a pleasure.

Driving through the Yorkshire Dales is like stepping back in time, the views are spectacular, the roads are winding and the company was great. 

We enjoyed a nice lunch from a quaint little deli, then spent the rest of the day walking along the river, feeding the ducks, playing in the park and browsing the quirky, independent shops (the village has an amazing natural health store).  It was so relaxing and it was nice to see my youngest letting her hair down after 4 years of serious studying for her degree. It was nice to spoil her a little.

It's always a wrench when I leave her,  I still see the little girl she was, as she waves us goodbye, even though she is 22 and lives with her partner, she will always be 'my baby'.

There's always that feeling of an empty nest when I arrive home, although my dogs give me such a welcome and usually spend the night cuddling up to me, it's not quite the same.

So arriving home this evening I was greeted with 2 excitable dogs and a parcel.  My Tao Oracle has finally arrived.  I have had this deck on my wish list for so long and was recently enabled by Ellen to purchase it. 

It has made coming home a little less daunting as I had eagerly anticipated this deck's arrival.

I cannot wait to get some time in with the cards, having only had a quick browse through the deck (stunning images) and  a quick glance through the book, which looks quite meaty.   However I have plenty of time on my hands to relish it and take my time with it as I am now back to pauper status.  

Unboxed

From Broken Windows, Robots Grow.

Vibrational Energy Oracle by Debbie A. Anderson. (App Version)

Having usually been an old fashioned girl at heart (in the technology field anyway), I have tended to stick with what I know and always used Microsoft Windows for everything.  Even my smart phone is a Windows phone.  However as, with all things, my trusty laptop has seen better days and being held together with duct tape it is becoming increasingly difficult to use, the battery doesn't work and it has to be used via the mains outlet so I am tied to where I can use it.

As I peruse the cyber world of tarot I have been made more aware of the popularity of tarot apps and their growing use, so with interest I looked into them and I like the concept.

I have so many tarot and oracle decks on my wish list that just seems to keep growing but refrain from buying, due to either uncertainty, cost and space.  This is where I feel the apps can bridge that gap.    They are inexpensive and take no space.  I can justify £3.99 to then say that the deck is beautiful but just doesn't work for me without having to find space on a shelf for something that will likely gather dust until I re-home it.

Well this is where my laptop and phone let me down.  Having Windows as an operating system is just no good for the ever growing plethora of apps, the choice is very limited and the quality, poor.

So I have branched out and got myself an Android tablet and 1 or 2 tarot and oracle apps (just for research sake, you understand).  Although it cost more than my what a tarot shopping spree would cost, it enables me to be 'doing' wherever I am.

One of the apps I downloaded was Vibrational Energy Cards by Debbie A. Anderson.  The cards are stunning.  I was very surprised that the one card draw I did for myself for today was 'Creative Explosion'.  I felt it was an accurate portrayal of what my day holds.  I am full of ideas and feel fully charged.

Today I am customising my tablet (now known as Andy, the robot), looking through the apps and getting a feel for the downloaded decks.  

I am even writing this blog post with it, as I sit out with my morning coffee while my dogs investigate the garden.   

Andy is going to open up so many possibilities and give me the chance to use decks I have been wanting to use for so long.  I feel like today is not going to be long enough to do everything that is in my head.  So Creative Explosion as my card for today couldn't have been more accurate.  I am up and raring to go!

I think my venture into the new world of Android is going to be a very rewarding experience and now I'm off to post a picture of my dogs on instagram.

Have a lovely day everyone.

Feed Me, Feedback

I love reading the cards for others.  I always feel its a special thing when someone allows you to delve around in their personal world, and that they trust you enough to do that. Knowing there is no hidden agenda from me as a reader means they can be open and honest, and I am grateful for being given that trust. 

If it wasn't for the trust these lovely people put in me I would feel my purpose was lost.  I love to help people, in what ever way I can.

It is also nice when these people appreciate what I do and it gladdens my heart when they come back to me with messages like these 

Your amazing man, everything has been so spot on. Your talent I am in awe of.

On the money !!!  You're really good!

This is not " a little right" it is precisely accurate!!!

Bravo my friend you're really good

Wow, that is very accurate indeed..

OMG!!!!  Pisces Moon, you hit the nail on the head with everything you've said!

I felt as though you were reading my thoughts, fears and desires!

 That's awesome!  Everything's correct!

Thank you very much for the reading and for such a quick response

This is just a sample of my feedback from happy people.  

And this is what makes my grateful heart sing.

You Have a Name, Not A Label

Psychic Tarot for the Heart by John Holland

Within all of our relationships with the people in our lives, there tends to be one that we get lost in.  This isn't helped by the opinions from others who tell us. 'your romantic relationships should come first, your children should come first, we need to have a large circle of trusted friends, we need to do large family gatherings regularly.  
I'm not advocating neglecting any of these relationships, but just which relationship should be your priority?

I believe it is the relationship we have with ourselves.  I am leaving babies and very young children out of this equation as they obviously need our constant nurturing and attention, however even a new mum needs time to have a soak in the bath (alone) after a full day of nappies, bottles, sick and snot. 

If we give ourselves over to our relationships we become lost in who we really are.  We are too busy anticipating and delivering the needs of the other person, that recognising our own needs gets neglected. 

I am no control freak, yet my kids, when younger, had a strong routine, a regular bed time and a quiet time at some point through the day.  This was a way for me to touch base with myself, to nurture me.  

Romantic relationships were quite tricky, I am fiercely independent and like to be in charge of my life, so boundaries were set and often broken (I seemed to attract needy, insecure men) and this is where my love life fell down.

I am often shocked when I hear or see women who have become someone's mummy or partner.  We all have an individual identity and yet so many people are happy to lose that identity.  Sometimes it may be that who we really are does not seem significant, yet we are all here for a purpose, and that purpose is to learn about ourselves.  

So if you are feeling like you are an extension of someone else, take some time to look at what you would truly like to do-just you, what dreams do you have, what sparks your imagination?

Seek some clarity within you, find out who you are, what makes you tick.

Think of the relationships that hold you back from doing that and ask why?  Who is holding you back?  You will be surprised at the answer. 

Make your needs and wants heard.  Set your boundaries firmly in place and do something for you.  You might be surprised at the positive change in your relationships that it brings. 

I Do Believe in Faeries.

The Faeries Oracle by Brian Froud

Along with my delivery of Tarot Illuminati another card deck bounced into my cart and found its way to my loving arms.

Its a deck I have read so much about (some of it quite bizarre) but I wanted to see what the hype was all about.  As I have made this year's deck study all about Tarot of the Hidden Realm (which is a fey energy deck) I wanted to explore this world a little more.  I am developing a real pull towards the fey realm and thought as I have 365 days and 78 tarot cards in my Hidden Realm deck, maybe I needed something to expand on.

Some people find a belief in the faerie realm a little, let's call it, odd. I, however, feel it opens up our inner child and lets her play in a way that adulthood has neglected.  Surely this is a good thing.  I mean c'mon, if big business execs can spend a day paint-balling, running round a place playing pretend shoot outs and call it team building, what is wrong with someone else 'seeing' faeries.  

Now call me a cynic, strange or whatever, but I have a real issue with 'Angels'.  I know that they are popular and well received by a lot of people, (and an excellent money maker for certain people) but I just can't click with the concept. Maybe its about the Christianity thing, them being portrayed as the 'messengers of 'god' and all that, but it really doesn't taste good in my mouth. Every angel deck I have come across is sugary sweet with positivity and that is not real life.   

If that is what you are in to then its nice you have found a system that gives you comfort and guidance, however its not for me.  If we are to believe that every difficulty we face, every issue we have to deal with in life is a test from the angels then doesn't that absolve us from taking any responsibility for choices we have made, that may not have been good ones?.  Like a celestial 'pass the buck'.`

How do you do a reading for the person whose partner has just walked out on them, left them with massive debts, broke, in a bad place mentally and at the risk of becoming homeless as they may be losing their job?  

How can a reading from a sugary sweet positive deck help that person?  How does having Gabriel telling you that the loving arms of the angels are around you, help you move forward.  Am I just 'not getting it?'  To me its like being given a life threatening diagnosis and then being handed a sticking plaster.

Sorry, I digress on a totally different ramble.  

Faeries, yes.  I have researched the Faerie Oracle before it fell into my shopping cart, and I love the earthy style of some of the fey.  There are some beautiful faeries (more in keeping with general ideas of how faeries should look, but there are some gargoyle-esque fey there too).  The messages are honest and relevant.  It should not be assumed that life is going to be sprinkled with pretty pixie dust with these cards, some of the energies would just as easy throw a cow-pat over you if it meant you got the message.

Faerie energy is cheeky, mischievous but strong, powerful and honest.  Life is all about the ups and downs, the light and dark.  It is duality, it is contrast and complement.
These cards hold it all and I'm chomping at the bit to get to know them. 

Shelving the Idea

It seemed like the answer to my problem.  The problem being, where to put all my tarot and oracle decks, tarot books and journals (5 currently in use) that seem to be taking over my living room.

So I copped a bargain in the sales and got this lovely shelving unit for £10.  

I stood yesterday morning waiting for it to be delivered making beeswax polish with pure beeswax and coconut oil, to lovingly treat the raw wood.  I added some cedarwood essential oil and it smelt soooo good.

I've waxed it as smooth as porcelain, it has a sheen that looks like silk.  

Being a master of the screwdriver, I lovingly assembled it, and waxed it once more ( I think the smell of the wax has got more to do with it though than a love of polishing).

Out came the drill and hey presto I have storage for my collection.  That is, until I realised that one was not going to be big enough.  Oh heck no!! 

I still have decks on my bedside table, one deck is actually under my pillow.  I have a couple of decks on a bookcase and another 2 in the post.

I love the unit though, the top shelf has a lip to it and is just the ideal size for the bigger oracle cards, the fit like a glove. and no need for bookends to hold everything on the shelves.

So, guess what I'm off to buy tomorrow (no prize awarded to guessing correctly), yep another shelf unit, although ideally a bigger house may be a better idea (although would cost considerably more than a tenner).

Yule (B)Log

As the shortest day and longest night, Yule, to me is a turning point.  I love the long lazy summer days, so my heart sinks when the sunny days leave us and the dark days creep in.  

Yule gives the promise of the returning light, the plants and flowers slowly begin to stir beneath the earth and the birds and animals start to re-appear.

I think Yule is the perfect time to leave some of our baggage behind in the darkness and nurture what we want to bring into the light.  Tarot can help us look at what these tings can be,  I have always been inspired by The Four Queens' approach to tarot and she has lovingly shared some lovely Yule tarot and oracle spreads on her YouTube channel here.

I think if we dig deep enough within ourselves there is always something we can find that can give us hope and inspiration to pursue, something to bring light into our lives.

Too many people make new year resolutions based on a major change in their lives and by February, have given up as they are not seeing the rewards fast enough.  By using tarot we can 'check in' with ourselves and get a snapshot of what we need to address to accelerate our goals.

I am going to spend some time tonight assessing my goals for the coming year, and if I have to journey one small step at a time, I will.  I will have a monthly check up with the cards to see if I am progressing in the right way and if I need to change anything I am doing, or even need to address an entirely different issue then so be it.  I am not going to run a race with myself to get where I want to be.  I'd rather take a stroll and enjoy the scenery, after all life is meant to be an experience and I want to experience as much as I can.

Have a blessed Yule and may the returning light illuminate your heart.

Pre-Christmas Cards

Father Christmas came early this year, I have acquired the latest addition to my oracle collection, Colette Baron-Reid's Wisdom of the Hidden Realms.

All I can say is, 'amazeballs'.  The artwork is so rich, the images just speak for themselves. All the card artwork is by the artist Jena DellaGrottaglia, which gives a nice constant flow to them, which I like.  I sometimes feel when the artwork on the cards are a collaboration of different artists, some cards in the deck just don't give me the vibe.  

This could be why the Oracle of Shadows and Light, and Shapeshifters remain my favourite oracle decks as Jasmine Becket Griffiths artwork is consistant on both decks. 

I have been having some 'getting to know you' time with each card and think the deck and I are going to get along well.

The Wisdom of the Hidden Realms cards use reversals, which I like, however the upright position is called an ally, and reversed is called the challenger.

Some of the cards are ally only, a few of the cards are both ally and challenger in the same instant, making it an interesting deck to read.

I can't wait to try them out properly and really get to know them, this is why I'm going to offer some free readings HERE in the coming days, so keep checking back if you would like to find out what these cards have to say to you.

Internal Sat Navs and the Re-calculating Route

I'm a great believer that we meet people in life for a reason.  These reasons can be varied and confusing at times, but I feel that there are lessons to be learned from each and every one of our encounters.

As a typical Pisces I can be a bit of a dreamer and not always decisive on my direction in life however I have met people and been in situations that have made it abundantly clear to me the direction i do not want to take.

These people are like the Magical Map Shifter, they can throw you off course.  They change your direction in life either temporarily or permanently, sometimes in a good way sometimes not so good.

We need to accept that not everyone we meet will be for our higher good, some interactions may happen to actually make us question ourselves about just where our motives and ideas have been leading us.

This can sometimes make us have to double back on our life journey and plan to re-route and make the changes we need to make in order to reach that better place.

Some people turn up to help take us further down our path when we feel stuck, lost or just need company over the rocky bits of the mountain we need to climb.  These are the people that sometimes, just as quickly disappear from our lives.  Yet, these are the people who impact on us and magically shift our personal maps for the better.    

In years gone by, I would simply refuse to acknowledge my part when things went wrong, when I wandered in to bad places.  I now see that I had to accept my part in these things, and I can now understand that the people who were there with me at the time were there to show me a lesson about myself.  Believe me some were pretty hard to learn.  However each person that has touched my life has been a part of my personal map, they helped shape the landscape and build the pathways that needed exploring.

I feel that every connection we make in this life has the ability to be a magical map shifter, we just need to choose which of these can help us on our journey and which ones want to take us to the dead ends.  

All Pain, No Gain

I've had a really bad few days suffering with a dental abscess and doped up on pain relief and I noticed that I really wasn't connecting to my cards at all.

I tried meditation, however the constant throbbing in my lower jaw was too intense to transcend, and after pain relief I was more unintentionally starting to drift off to sleep.

I think I'm back up to speed now and have been working with long time favourite cards, The Psychic Tarot Oracle deck by John Holland.  Its very close to the RWS tarot but has no court cards (yayyy) and has chakra cards added.  It has a full set of Majors although the names are different and four 'suits'.  These being, Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spirit. Included are 7 chakra cards.

My favourite card in the deck has to be 'Power'.  I think the image of the half man, half lion is definitely telling us that strength lies in us and we can use that strength at any time if we let it show its face, however the card also shows we need to balance that power with who we really are, never let the beast completely take over.

I love these cards for intuitive work.  They speak to me in a clear, straight forward way.  I don't believe that 'sugar coating shit' solves anything.  In real life I do try and be diplomatic, in that I will say, what I believe or advise on what I would do but always state that its not me in the situation, so its not my decision to make.

When people ask for a card reading, they are looking for answers, truths or clarity, and I feel that by sweetening the blow we don't do our sitters any favours, or ourselves any justice.  However the ultimate decision is the sitters and not the readers.

I think by pulling the Power card today the cards are telling me that I need to find the strength to get to the dentist (massive phobia of anything dental).  I need to take control of this situation and the strength to overcome my fear.  But its feeling better now so maybe not. 

Parlour Games and Positive Movement

Hands outstretched and her vision obscured by the blindfold, she steps out cautiously, hoping to get a sense of where she is. 

Sometimes in life the only way to move forward is to go blindly, feeling for a touch of something solid to steady us as we go.  The inability to see what lies ahead can make the journey scary but it may be that we may cannot have the distraction of stopping to see what is around us.  If, like the woman in this card, your current place is one that is appealing, you may decide to not move anywhere and become stagnated in where you are.  If, however your surroundings are not so pleasant you would hurry yourself through to get away from it, and miss something important that you needed to find there.  

Some people will happily go along and enjoy the adventure, relishing the air of mystery, not knowing where they are going but happily explore wherever they are.

Some people are reluctant to move, but know that the blindfold will not come off if you don't even try.

Some peoples' blindfold is thrust upon them and have no choice but to participate and fumble about in fear and dread, but are then happily surprised that they found courage and strength in themselves to allow their lack of vision move them forward.

Then we have the ones who will stand on the spot, refuse to move, if they can't see where they are going they are not going to take the risk of falling or bumping into something for fear of hurting themselves.They fear they will end up somewhere unpleasant, that they will be made to look foolish, so they stay exactly where they are.

I think its all a part of life, instead of being focused on how something looks, we need to experience how something feels.  We need to sometimes have the courage to use all the other senses to guide us. 

In todays modern age we are bombarded by media images of what our lives should look like, The beautiful people with their beautiful families and homes, the fantastic successful careers they have.  

In reality what do these people feel.  Does the woman struggle with food issues in a bid to stay slim, is she constantly concerned by her looks and fear the first signs of age.  Is the man in her life spending vast amounts of time working out to keep that six pack, toned pecs and pert butt after a long day in a cut throat job that drains him mentally.  Are the children nurtured and having quality time with their parents or being pacified with material goods.  Life may look good but how does it feel.

If we stop just using our eyes to see where we are heading in life and allow ourselves to just take a 'leap of faith' and let our other senses take us where they will, we would possibly find a lot more satisfaction in where we find ourselves and the lessons we have learned.

If you have faith in your gut feeling, then you are not going to go wrong. 

Selfishness, Solitude and the Single Girl

Oracle of the Shapeshifters

I notice when I travel around the various tarot forums I'm a member of, the number of posts from people wanting answers regarding their love lives, crushes, obsessions is enormous.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people wanting to find that one true love, but the amount of people who believe it is the be all and end all is frightening.  The general thinking is to just throw yourself in whole heartedly into having a partner, any partner and calling it love.  

I am of the belief that real deep love only comes through time, and is not something that happens after a 3 hour dinner date.But seriously, the amount of people who post on these boards with things such as 'How does he feel about me.... I went on a date 5 weeks ago with this guy and he hasn't called so I did a tarot spread.  I can't read the tarot cards but I think it meant he's in love with me, cos I love him'. (This is not an actual post, but you get the gist of what I'm saying). 

Call me an old fart if you wish, however I am a firm advocate of loving yourself first. Don't bring another person into your relationship with yourself until you have a firm foundation to build on.  I've read some horror stories of people who believe they are 'destined to be together' and then go on to describe the most horrific stories of distrust, jealousy, obsession, emotional abuse and at best dislike for the person they are having a 'relationship' with.  This to me just smacks of at best, low self esteem and at worst, sheer desperation.

I'm not mocking, I've been there, oh boy have I been there.  I've had some horrific 'relationships' that felt like love, However I can look back now and realise my self esteem was at rock bottom at the time.  My last relationship makes me want to hang my head in shame, but I won't bore you with details. 
We can be our own worst enemies when someone else is loading the bullets into the gun.

So why are people so afraid of being alone?  Do they dislike their own company?  I find people like this to be very shallow people.  How can you not like being alone with yourself?  How do you even know who you are if you are constantly being fed by other peoples' thoughts and opinions?  Or do these people not trust or like their own thoughts?

Being alone is not the same as being lonely.  You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely if there is no connection there.  And I'm not even going to touch on loneliness as that is something totally different.

Being alone is a good time to think your own thoughts, get things straight in your head, even sing at the top of your tone deaf voice if you so wish, without someone telling you you're tone deaf.  So what if you are, to enjoy something doesn't mean being good at it.

Being alone makes you accountable for your every thought and action, its a brilliant time to reflect on your hopes, dreams, fears likes and dislikes.

This past 2 years has opened up so many different avenues to me, I have found things about myself that previously I had never noticed before.  My choice of reading material has totally changed, my political views are now different and I have a spiritual side of me that is developing in a way I would never have imagined.  Even my priorities are different now

I'm single by choice (yes, it is my first choice) and have been for a while.  I have no interest in finding someone to share my life with because I realised that until I found out who I truly was, and find enough reasons to love me, I couldn't expect someone else to love me.  I enjoy my time alone, I've become openly selfish, in that I don't want to have to think about 'us' just me.  I know by looking back, I have always had a selfish streak in me, I accept it and have no problem with integrating it as part of me.  I feel at this time in my life I need to be selfish.

I have become so much more at peace with my past, and accepting the negatives about myself.  I am happy with where my life is now.  I don't have someone projecting their issues on to me, making me feel I am unworthy of anything.  I do't even feel the need to socialise just because it is expected of me.  I'm a happy hermit.

So when I read all this anguish from others about either the desperate need for finding someone that loves them or that their one true love ( the 7th in a space of 2 years) is causing them hurt, I feel like replying,' Turn off Facebook, quit wearing Eau de Desperation and get a mirror.  Because reflected back is the one person who can truly love you for you, warts and all'.  You do not need any other person to validate you.  Only you can do that.

Right I'm back off to my cave in the wilderness to sing tunelessly very, very loudly.

5 Coins and A Bit of Attitude

5 of Pentacles (L) Legacy of the Divine Tarot, (R) Tarot of the Hidden Realm.

I like how different tarot decks can bring different interpretations to the same card.  The example I am going to use is the 5 of Pentacles.  It is a card of ‘being down on your luck, of hard times and despair.

In Legacy of the Divine we see a woman begging, with a look on her face that is meant to instil pity in us.  However I feel it is a ‘poor me’, self-pity look, it is the face of someone who feels she has nothing, and nobody,  not even hope or a shoulder to lean on.   

If she could realise that behind her is the light of hope; that it isn’t all bad and the situation is not going to last forever then maybe she would not looks so hopeless, destitute and alone.  She does not need to be begging for help as the answer is there if she just looks behind her, indicating that a different direction or way of thinking would possibly resolve the problem.

I think we all have that one friend / acquaintance that, no matter what, is always full of woe, ‘the Wednesday child’.  It makes no matter if they had a winning lottery ticket in their hand, it would still be something to complain about.  They may feel their disappointments in life are not understood by anyone.  Yet they somehow fail to rejoice in their successes, they don’t reflect when they are having a tough time that there have been times of happiness, abundance and love. The ‘why me?’ mentality doesn’t wash with me, not when my beloved dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness at aged 39 and when my mother was bereft asking ‘Why us?’  My father’s dignified response was ‘Why not us?’.

In Tarot of the Hidden Realm’s depiction of the 5 of Pentacles, we see two young women, destitute, yet gaining comfort from each other.  They look cold, hungry and full of despair yet they both look as if they are reflecting on what has brought them to this place, how this has happened and hoping for an ending to it.

The figure on the left of the card looks as if she is knows it’s just a period of waiting, of letting things take their course, if they can hold out for that long.  And if they have each other then things will be more bearable.

As in life, we also have friends who will go through our tough times with us.  Some have been there themselves and can advise and sympathise.  Others are just feeling our pain and it gives them the opportunity to reflect on something that has brought some pain or difficulty in their life and possibly deal with unresolved issues in themselves.  These are our treasures when we have nothing else.   

Having that shoulder to lean on, to give an embrace when you feel so lost is sometimes the one thing that can keep us going?  And who hasn’t had that friend who has told you ‘things will look better in the morning’?  Because one morning,  it will.

XV The Devil and The Phantom

XV The Devil (L) Radiant Rider Waite, (R) Legacy of the Divne

We are probably all familiar with the saying, ‘needs must when the devil drives’.  However would it make a difference if you were offered a lift in a beat up old van or a Ferrari?

The Devil speaks to us about our base feelings.  It questions our darkest desires and needs and just what we will do to achieve them.  He challenges that feeling of entrapment, but are we really tied to a certain situation?  Or do we actually have a way out, but find it’s more comfortable and easier to stay trapped so we don’t have to face the ugly truth?

In the Radiant Rider Waite deck we see the devil as a beast, a grotesque creature, the ugliness and the fear that our situation draws up in us, yet his two captives are quite happy to stay chained to him.

 

Surely he can’t be all bad then?  Is it that the beast serves us in that we can grasp what it is we want without having to ponder on the ethics of our method?  Sometimes it can be useful to have an ambition that can only be achieved by turning away from the needs of others and their opinions, an ambition that can only be reached ruthlessly and by using those dark little corners of our psyche that in reality we don’t want to acknowledge

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In Legacy of the Divine tarot, The Devil is very different; I had one friend say ‘I wouldn’t mind being tempted, if he looked like that’.

 

And maybe this is what the image of this card tries to portray.  Just because something looks appealing, tempting us with the enigmatic ‘come hither’, it is not necessarily going to be good for us.  It can sometimes lead us down a path we would not usually take and deliver us to right to the front door our own personal hell.

We see in the card, the mask The Devil wears, is this to hide the ugliness of its true face? Are we the ones insisting the mask stay on his face?  Does it tempt us with the deceptive beauty expecting us to assume the true face of him is just as aesthetically appealing? Or do we really know what lies beneath and rather cover it so we do not have to look to closely?

Our poor Fool is sitting on his sand timer, trying to push away, that which he must face, yet cannot.   What has he gotten in to? What has he to see that distresses him in such a way? Why is he wanting distance from it?

Be it a situation or a part of ourselves that we do not want to accept, as like The Devil himself, it may have looked like such an attractive proposition on first glance.  Now we have to decide can we still bare to look once the mask is off and we see the true face of it.

I am suddenly imagining Phantom of the Opera with this card, as Christine, so vulnerable and naive is led by the prospect of being an amazing and famous opera singer, lured by the promise of her unseen mentor who tempts and cajoles her with words like a protective ‘angel’, however once the Phantom's mask is removed, can she really continue, knowing what she now knows of him.  What of the phantoms true intentions, his obsession and twisted ‘love’ for Christine.  Eventually she comes to realise that the price of her fame is not worth the disgust she feels and breaks away from the ties of the phantom (although I secretly wish she’d chosen him instead of Raul, cos when you look at Ramin Karimoo why wouldn’t you)

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However I digress. The Devil is asking you to look deep at the actions you have taken, the choices you have made and whether they serve you in the right way.  Ultimately you can make a different choice.  Comfort zones are nice, that’s why we call them ‘comfort’ zones, going outside of them may bring you something far more comfortable, in your mind and in your heart.

Just my two pennies worth.  

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Light My Fire

Enchanted Map Oracle, Colette Baron Reid

I love the fact that what I do to pay the bills leaves me plenty of time to embrace the things I love.  I may not be an expert in any of my hobbies and interests but I have the luxury of time to pursue what makes my inner light shine.

As a child I loved to create, and was always being reprimanded for the scrappy bits of paper lying all over my bedroom floor among crayons, scissors, glue, pens and pencils.

I begged my mother to teach me how to knit at the age of 7 and spent many a happy time knitting blankets for my doll’s pram.  They were by no means perfect but it sparked something in me that made me realise, inspiration is enough to lead you anywhere.

Many years later I worked in a craft shop where I could indulge my passion for card making, scrapbooking, and mixed media art.  It also gave me th opportunity to demonstrate things I had learned and share that knowledge, in the hope that even one person gained inspiration to give it a go themselves.

I even taught myself to crochet about 12 years ago via the internet, something my mother had never learned to do so was unable to teach me.

I’m no expert at any of these activities, but, I can produce decent results.  The end result is not necessarily the goal for me, it’s the doing, and it’s the idea of taking some basic items and playing with them, from the initial idea, to the activity, of putting the idea into motion and doing it for me.  I'm not really bothered if someone doesn't appreciate my efforts, however its a bonus if they do.  Its a bit like keeping a diary, albeit a very tactile one, nobody keeps a diary for someone else to critique.its personal to the writer.  This is how I view my creations.

The same goes for my love of tarot and oracle cards.  I enjoy getting to know the cards, looking at each image, seeing how each one makes me feel.  My take on a card may not match some else's, however, neither is wrong, we just view things from slightly different angles  

Visually I adore Colette Baron Reid’s Enchanted Map oracle, the artwork is stunning. The images are rich, emotive and intriguing.

I look at these cards as mini pieces of art, and am in the process of using some of the images in a photo manipulation programme to create wall art for my home. 

I’m using the card ‘Spark’ to go on the wall in my bedroom, near my bed.  

I’m using the image and association of the card to remind me that every day I will find at least one thing that will bring me that flash of inspiration.  It may not be obvious at first but it maybe that one thing tat keeps coming back into our mind, as if the subconscious is telling us 'take note'.

Whether that be a creative inspiration, a topic that piques my interest and learn more about, (or blog about) even an insight to check in with myself, work on an underlying issue or just to remember to enjoy ‘being’.  It may be the tiniest thing, but it will resonate with me, touch my heart and my spirit.

I don’t want to spend my days with my eyes, ears and heart closed to what is happening around me.  I want be open to the little quirks of life that may sometimes pass us by.  

I talk to some people and think ‘How can someone be so blinkered?’  They must walk around with their eyes shut. 

This is an amazing planet we live on and a fascinating universe we exist in, why are some people just happy to merely exist here and can think no further than the tip of their noses.  

We, in the grand scheme of things, only inhabit this planet for a millisecond of time.  Surely it would be nice to think of just one thing we could leave behind to say ‘I was here’.  Just a small wisp of ourselves that, even if it touches just one single being, can be our legacy.

We can’t all be Michelangelo, Shakespeare or The Buddha, but we can be inspired by them, whether it be for the art, the mastery of language or their dedication of finding true spiritual peace. 

 We can all find a spark somewhere and use it to light a torch to guide us on our journey through this life.  You just need to be looking in all the right places

SO GO ON, CREATE SOMETHING AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU!

A New Deck Ramble

From top L-R: King of Pentacles, Ace of wands, Ace of Cups. Bottom L-R The High Priestess, 4 of Swords) 

I received my Tarot of the Hidden Realm (by Barbara Moore, art by Julia Jeffrey) a couple of days ago and I am in love.
These cards are absolutely beautiful.  I have posted a picture of some of my favourite images from the deck. however every image is enchanting
I was unsure about how good these would be to read with due to the lack of traditional symbols, however I think the expressive faces tell you everything you need to know.
For an intuitive reader they are an absolute delight as these cards speak to you from core level.

I was quite surprised by my choice of deck, as the muted earthy tones are a far cry from my usual deck, which is vibrant and lively with a lot of background imagery, however I feel this may be part of the attraction to this deck.  Beguiling fae beckon you to look closely, and listen carefully. The artwork is captivating, I am totally blown away

I'm not an avid fan of 'traditional' decks.  I do own a Rider Waite Smith deck but the imagery leaves me cold.  For traditional learning methods it is a good deck, however I've never done anything by the rules, I've got by this long on bending them or making my own, and its always worked for me.

I do study my RWS and have several tarot books, I do try and absorb traditional meanings but, as in every aspect of life, everyones view is different, not right or wrong, just different and some of my tarot books although conveying similar messages can be  'off the mark' for me.

Its a lifelong process and who knows, if I'm still alive and kicking in 25 years time I may just have got some handle on 'traditional' meanings.  But for now its all about going with the flow, its something I've suppressed for many years due to various issues, and I now feel comfortable in my slightly sagging skin to take control and follow my heart.

As for the here and now, I'm just going to get to know these beautiful creatures because I feel this is going to be a very happy relationship.